Well that was strange!

Last night was pizza night.
yes, I only ate the toppings and a big salad.

BUT~ Before I ever got to my dinner... I started to feel pressure in my stomach, like a gas bubble, pain between the shoulders and realized this is a very familiar pain. Comes on with little to NO warning and is so excruciating that I almost had hubby take me to the hospital. He says that it was a panic attack. I told him that I had zero reason to have an attack, zero reason the last time this happened (a few years ago) and to explain to me why after I ate about 10 antacids, the pain went away~ It took about 20 min for it to go away, but it went away.

Now... here is something about myself and pain. I apparently dont feel pain like some people do. This was a 6 on the 1-10 scale, childbirth only ever being where I got to 10. I've had some pain in my body and life before. LOTS of pain. BUT I also understand this pain would have had most people curled into a fetal position and sobbing. This is from my doctor by the way. I am an 'ox' to him. ahahah

Hubby checked my pulse, kept an eye on my breathing and the color of my fingers and lips. I was just in alot of pain. I could breathe fine, it just HURT. Was NOT gallstone pain, I've had that. Was not kidney stone pain, I've had that too. This hurt WORSE than the 3 kidney stones I've passed. I hadn't had anything strange to eat. Last time this happened, I had ONE bite of asparagus that my mom offered me. The pain expanded and blew up. Felt like I needed to burp really bad, but there was NO air coming out!
Once the pain went away, with pepto, I was able to go have a few more bites of asparagus.
Last night, I ate a piece of sausage off off one of the pizzas. ONE.
When i was done with my attack, i was able to go ahead and eat most of my salad and the toppings off of a few pieces of pizza without lasting pain or stomach upset.

now~ I'm sure everyone is going to be sure that I should have gone to the dr because it sounded like a heart attack. Had it moved further, and had my heart been beating strange or not hard enough I would have. I was under close monitor from my husband.

BUT DAMN~ PAIN PAIN PAIN.

No Surprise....

I have zero hunger this morning. After eating enough calories to keep me going for today, last night!

I'll go with it for now. I'm not going to shove food down my throat because I think I need to. I really really want to go back to bed. I'm beat, physically and emotionally. My body is on rebel mode~ Scale didn't move at all from yesterday, so that's good! Since Friday is my 'weigh in' day. I should do measurements, but I'm bloated and it wont give an accurate measurement. Next friday will be better.

I thought that I had dinner for tonight planned out... alas NOT SO! I'm going to make grilled chicken breasts and cook up some yummy side veggies. The nuts have been put AWAY.
Almonds aren't so bad for me.

I really hope to get some good sleep this weekend. No alarm waking me up.

this feeling, this super tired and listless feeling... this is one of the main reasons I take a very expensive pill that regulates hormones.

The psychology of a binge...

So. I screwed up tonight. I had such an amazing day.
I'm feeling off because of woman stuff that I'm not used to having to deal with.
I didn't eat anything that was outside of my food realm...
just a few HANDFULS of macadamia nuts. almost 1000 calories worth. They will be going into the freezer in the shed tomorrow. Or to my mom's house or somewhere that I cant get to them. They are a trigger food.

I feel like absolute CRAP right now. I honestly want to sit here and weep. and then EAT MORE NUTS. I've been off all day. this just puts the icing on the cake for me. I feel like I've failed.

I know tomorrow is a new day. And I'm sure that I'll be ok. I'm a blubbering fool of a mess right now and I'm very pissed at myself.

I dont need sympathy, I just needed to get it off my chest. If I dont tell someone, it will keep happening and that's the last thing I want. I almost think it would have been better if it were bread, or brownies or something like that. but NUTS? FATTY NUTS? I kept telling myself that I didn't need any more, and when I found myself 'sneaking' them. I knew I had to stop. So now I'm obsessing over the fact that I just screwed up big time and I'm sure I've let people down, people who believed in me. I know I let myself down. It makes me want to eat, why not huh? I've already screwed up. (I'm not going to... I refuse to let myself fall into that round robin)

Tomorrow I will pick myself back up, dust myself off and walk out on this pity party. And put those damn nuts far away.

Coconut Amino's!

So, I made chicken and dumplings for my family today. My son had requested it last night, and I didn't see what the harm was. Its one of his favorite meals and I can stuff it full of veggies. He doesn't have issues with wheat~ and he NEEDS the carbs and energy. He's a ball of go!

BUT~ I made myself some fortified chicken egg drop soup. Grilled chicken, broth, celery and carrots mixed with some scrambled eggs and coconut aminos. They are DAMN TASTY! WOW!
I am still trying to figure out why they are so expensive.... O_o

Soup is so yummy! I think the dried ginger I got from Penzy's spices is better than FRESH! I'm a ginger FREAK. This soup is SO GOOD!

Feeling under the weather again today. Think its because my body is trying to rebel against my bc pills and is allowing me to have a woman time. grrrr. I take special pills so that its NOT supposed to happen. I'm not supposed to have to deal with this CRAP. Dont know if its because of my way of eating changing or what, but DAMMIT. ok... I'm done throwing a fit. I'll make an appt with my dr asap to have my exam done and talk to her about having a different bc option.

going to talk to my other dr about my Lamotrigine and if that is the reason why I'm struggling so hard to loose pounds. Talking to a few other people who take the same thing and they are having the same issues with it. I cant figure out why? I've got an appointment with my dr next week to talk about bringing my dog home as a companion animal. Home security... all of the above. I miss my dog terribly. We all do.

I'm bitchy and crabby and achy today. I haven't had to deal with this bulllll for 4 years!

Its falling into place!

I'm a bit under the weather today, but I don't believe it has anything to do with what I'm eating! 
I feel pretty good other than being dog tired and ready for bed again.  My sinuses and ears hurt and I've got a sore throat.  I didn't get through much of my workout before going to take a nap. ugh. 

BUT~ My coat wasn't as tight around my hips this morning.  It was enough that I really noticed. REALLY noticed!  I haven't worn it in a week or so... It has always been fairly snug at the hips (whoever designs women's Carhart coats is an idiot) I didn't measure, because measure and weigh day is on Friday~



I honestly just cant figure it out.  I was eating over 2000 calories a day in fat and protein and veggies, and since I've cut back on the fat, and added more veggies and some moderate fruit, I'm no where near even  hitting the 1900 calorie top I've set for myself.  I'm SATISFIED.  I'm less hungry than I was while eating all that fat, and almost no carbs.  Apparently my body likes to have more carbs than It was getting.  I can already feel the difference in a few days of eating this way.  Lots of veggies, proteins, some nuts and a bit of dairy.  NOM!  I feel good.  I'm not starving constantly.  I'm apparently shrinking too... =)

Now, we'll see how hubby feels about the dinner I made =) Its ground turkey, canned diced tomatoes, zucchini chunked up, black olives hand crushed, some chopped red peppers and 'pizza seasoning'.  I added a touch of shredded mozzarella cheese and sour cream to my plate.  and fresh red peppers for some crunchy yum.  

Tomorrow was going to be ground pork, red cabbage, apples and some yukon gold potatoes on the side, but my son asked for Chicken and Dumplings.  So I'll have to make two pots of that, a small one for me with no dumplings, and a big one for everyone else =)   I'm ok with that.  I'll just put sweet potato and carrots and celery in mine... well they get celery too... I can do eggs...
and now I'm just rambling. 

I'm ready to curl up and go back to bed.

That scared look in other peoples eyes...

When you explain why your joints dont hurt, and why you are so full of energy, and your adult acne has all but gone away.

Was at dance class tonight. This class isn't really very active, its a composition class, so its teaching us how to show people the music with our bodies. She's jamming 15 weeks of stuff into 8 weeks!

BUT~ There is a lady who had knee replacement surgery, is currently injured and is always complaining of joint inflammation and pain. When I explained that I had done 80 squats today (YAY) and that I had no pain, and feel pretty darn good, she looked at me and wanted to know HOW DID I DO IT?? I looked at her and said "I stopped eating wheat, all grain is gone. No refined sugar. No beans. Tons of veggies and lean protein." she got a look on her face like she wanted to run away from me as fast as she could. AHAH

I've upped my carbs and feel AMAZING. Low carb was NOT working for me or my body. I obviously wasn't loosing weight either. I think I'll get results doing things my way.
Stopped and got some macadamia nuts. They had them DRY ROASTED! *WHEEE* also picked up some black chia seeds. Wish they had liquid stevia. I'll have to check at our Fred Meyer, they have a great big section for that stuff. Apparently the liquid stuff doesn't have that horrible aftertaste?

I did my Marvelous in March workout today~ all 4 sets! each set is 45 seconds each of squats, wall press ups, kettlebell swings and kettlebell around the worlds~ 15 second break between. I ROCKED IT! 80 total squats, 77 wall press ups, 105 swings and 97 around the worlds. and that was low because I dropped the bell a few times. *whoops*

Tomorrow I will give my squats a rest and do an ab workout and do my dance workout. Then I've got sewing that needs to be completed. (I always have sewing that needs completed)
Bloomers and chemise tops and skirts oh my!

I hope this sore throat goes away. its really starting to irritate me.

Last Day for Civilized Caveman Giveaway!

Last day for the Civilized Caveman Giveaway!!  Check out the details HERE
$1800 in prizes to one lucky winner!!!
ALL PALEO FRIENDLY!

This is just an amazing blog and website, full of great information and RECIPES!  Yum recipes!  

An amazing feeling!

Now this is a strange feeling. I'm hungry. I ate my 4 eggs at noon, and then we went to the gun show and walked around for a while (found a shotgun I want!!!). I've been hungry for a few hours at least, but its not a gnawing pain, I dont feel light headed, and I know that I can go another 45 min until dinner time. I had about 15 almonds, a tbsp of almond butter and 4 green olives. Its been a very long time since I've felt hungry and not go shove my face full of food that just isn't necessary. I'm making sirloin steak on the grill for dinner with salad and perhaps some butternut squash sauteed in coconut oil.
I do know that I need to make some homemade almond butter.  Need to roast my almond meal (homemade) or its going to go bad I think.  I keep it in the fridge.  

Today I feel good.  A bit tired, but feel good. 

Marvelous In March Kettlebell And Bodyweight Workout with Rocofit.com

New workout with Rocofit.com is listed!  Marvelous in March is the goal!  MM <--- Link to blog and video! I'm stoked about this workout, and will be doing it 4 times a week and an ab interval 3 times a week~ I will stack these sometimes and still do at least 30 min of belly dance 5 days a week.  Either Rachel Brice or Ariellah. I would love to add in some yoga, but I dont want to over do it so much.  Perhaps next month.  I use some poses to stretch and warm up before and after my workouts

I have gone through, being the obsessive person that I tend to be, calculated the BMR and LBM of my goal weight!  175 pounds!  So, with that, my calculations show that I need between 30 and 50g of good healthy carbs, 135g of lean good protein and 110-120g of good fat.   That is a range of 1600-1900 calories a day.  These are the calories and nutrients needed to maintain 175 pounds of weight on a woman eating a paleo/Primal diet. 

Now that I can stop obsessing about food, and if my family is going to eat it.  Hubby said to cook what I am going to cook, and he will eat it or not.  Tell me if he likes it or not.  The kids have to eat what I put in front of them or they just don't eat. Its so simple.  I will be using the book  Well Fed to make the majority of Dinner meals.  My daily during the day meals are easy enough.  I eat pretty much the same thing each day.  Eggs for breakfast, salad for lunch and veggies for snacks.

A friend asked me to help her with one of her paper's for school.  Its about Primal eating and how it has worked for her, as well as some other people.  Since I'm the one who got her to go primal, she asked me first.  This is my quote to sum up how I feel about it! 
                                 "Within two weeks I had zero joint pain, I am full of energy that I never had, and while I haven't lost tons of weight, I'm loosing inches.  Its about health and eating whole real foods that we should be eating.  Eating to feed your hunger, not a chart of calories.  Every meal I eat leaves me satisfied and happy.
The fitness recommended is easy and very accessible for at home, and I feel amazing after each workout.  Short workouts.  I feel my body getting stronger, and my muscles aren't as sore, even when I push myself to the tops of my limits."  Me.